Fucked Up Jokes Thread

El_Duce

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Sickest, most fucked up jokes you know. post em. Nothing is off limits.
A woman has just given birth, the doctor goes "congrats, you have a beautiful baby girl." so he starts punching and kicking and throwing the baby around, and naturally the mom goes "oh my god, what the fuck are you doing??" "APRIL FOOLS, it was already dead."
A lot of people say princess dianna would've still been alive if she had just worn her seat belt... you try sniffing coke off of a cock with a seat belt on
What was the last delivery to the twin towers? two plains.
They say there's power in numbers... try telling that to 6 million jews
 

jacob206

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Feb 5, 2008
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after strangulation, which organ in the female body remains warm after death?

my cock.

;
 

El_Duce

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whats better than nailing 10 dead babies to 1 tree? nailing 1 dead baby to 10 trees.
whats the hardest thing about nailing a baby to a tree? my dick while i'm doing it.
what do you call a headless baby hanging on your wall? art.
how do you get a baby to crawl in circles? nail one of its hands to the floor.
how do you stop a baby from falling into a well? spear a javelin through its head.
what do you get when you dislocate a baby's jaw? deepthroat.
what's more fun than stapling babies to a wall? ripping them off.
how do you stop a baby from exploding in a microwave? poke holes in it with a coat hanger
 

Gunner

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^holy shit this guy know stuff
 

Alwaysleeping17

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Im fucking dying that shits funnny
 

QKkicks

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What is Junior Seau's favorite formation?

The Shotgun
 

collin

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What's black and sits at the top of a staircase? Stephen Hawking after a house fire.


Why were there only 5000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo? Because they only had two vans


Whats the difference between black people and cancer? Cancer can get Jobs


A girl is flirting at a bar and says "Tell me it's true what they say about black guys" He then proceeds to stab her 37 times and steal her purse.


what's better than winning a silver medal at the special olympics? Not being retarted


What did Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common? Their biggest hits were the wall


How did the cops know princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard.


What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana's mind before she died? The stere


What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Her hips


Whats the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out the window


What's the hardest thing about being a pedo? Fitting in.


Why can't you fool an aborted baby? Because it wasn't born yesterday


What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 10 straight years


What's the difference between a ham sandwich and a dead baby? I don't fuck a ham sandwich before I eat it.


A doctor that has just delivered a woman's baby comes over to the couple and says, "I have some good news and some bad news about your baby. What would you like first?"
Worried, the couple responds, "Give us the bad news first and get it out of the way I guess..."
"Well, unfortunately your baby has red hair..."
"Oh is that all? That's no so bad. What's the good news doc?"
"Your baby's dead."
 

mrh

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loved that last one
 

Ike Hates Mike

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Black jokes and mexican jokes are all pretty much the same. Juan's you heard one, you've heard Jamall.
 

collin

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what breaks when you give it to a 6 year old? Her hips.

whats the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne waits until youre 13 to come all over your face.
 

Th3 SB K1ng

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Women's rights
 

jacob206

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Feb 5, 2008
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how do you know if your sisters on her period?
your dad's cock tastes like blood.
 

collin

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purearsenal4

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What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A bench can support a family of 4
 

collin

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Breh this is the fucked up joke thread, not the jokes you heard at church thread^^
 
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purearsenal4

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collin writes:
I thought it was fucked up.....okay fine :/
 
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purearsenal4

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What is 12â€Â³ long and makes a woman moan all night? Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
 

collin

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whats the hardest part of rollerblading?
telling your parents youre gay.